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| Somebody is Going to Die if Lilly Beth Doesn't Catch That Bouquet: The Official Southern Ladies' Guide to Hosting the Perfect Wedding | 
 enlarge | Authors: Gayden Metcalfe, Charlotte Hays
Publisher: Hyperion
Category: Book
List Price: $19.95
Buy New: $2.89
You Save: $17.06 (86%)
Buy New/Used/Collectible from $2.89
Avg. Customer Rating:  (16 reviews)
Sales Rank: 18771
Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published)
Media: Hardcover
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 272
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.8
Dimensions (in): 7.6 x 5.5 x 1
ISBN: 1401302955
Dewey Decimal Number: 395.22
EAN: 9781401302955
ASIN: 1401302955
Publication Date: April 3, 2007
Release Date: March 28, 2007
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Editorial Reviews:
Product Description
Even if you?ve never attended a wedding in the South, you?ll find laughter in the pages of this deliciously entertaining slice of Southern life and love, complete with recipes, advice, and a huge dose of that famous charm "In the Mississippi Delta, funerals bring out the best in people, while weddings, which are supposed to be happy occasions, bring out the worst." So say Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays, authors of the bestseller Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies? Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral, who turn their keen eyes and sharp wit from the end of the life cycle to the all-important midpoint. For anyone planning, participating in, or attending a wedding (Southern or not), this book will amuse, entertain, and provide advice for marital bliss, including: --It?s OK to peek at an etiquette book, but if you rely too heavily on it, people will think that you are not fully acquainted with what is right and wrong.
--Anything that was not done in the past doesn?t need to be done now -- consider this before ordering a groom?s cake, especially one featuring a fishing-tackle or golfing theme.
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| Customer Reviews: Read 11 more reviews...
 Ok, but a bit disappointing June 21, 2008
This book was just OK. I was really looking forward to reading it so maybe I expected too much. It was really slow in the middle - almost like the author was trying to stretch the material. On the other hand, some parts were really entertaining and all too true.
 Fabulous May 22, 2008
I thought I liked her book about funerals and I did, but this is even better. I would recommend it especially to southern girls and women who no longer live in the south. I look forward to sharing it with my daughter who is in Denver.
Great book March 10, 2008
1 out of 1 found this review helpful
Insightful, devilishly funny. Anyone who has any contact with the Mississippi Delta will see long lost friends on every page.
 A good follow-up to their last book February 13, 2008
3 out of 3 found this review helpful
The authors of Being Dead Is No Excuse are back for another rollicking good time recounting the foibles and frustration of the Delta. Like Being Dead, this friendly tome wields its wit like a Union saber, slicing through the niceties of southern living and getting to the heart of the matter. "A Southern mother might be tempted to marry off her daughter to Jack the Ripper (who reportedly was a member of the royal family--so there) if it meant she could get out all her tea napkins." As the last vestige of decorum, pageantry, beauty, gallantry and, yes, good taste, the perfect wedding can be a backyard event or a multi-tent pageant, but it should never be tacky.
The South has more aphorisms than mosquitoes, and they are peppered throughout the book like crawdads in a burgoo:
*"By the time a Delta girl is eight years old, she knows more about wedding etiquette than a Yankee bridal consultant."
*"A Southern bride will write a gushing thank-you note almost before you get home from mailing the gift."
*"Southern mothers have a dictum: Even if it kills you, be nice."
*"You will smell (a genuine Delta bride) before you actually see her--we are a people of the perfume bottle, and other bottles, too."
*"A wedding announcement that begins, `Mr. Billy Wayne Garrett, 5, is pleased to announce the impending nuptials of his parents, Nelda Jean Akers and Billy Wayne, Senior,' has already said too much."
From the rehearsal to the reception to the wedding, authors Metcalfe and Hays lay out a beautiful buffet of tales involving funny and dysfunctional people you probably already know. One snobbish mother describes her daughter's disappointing fiance--an elevator operator--as a "vertical engineer." Another plants trees and shrubbery when her daughter is born in anticipation of her daughter's nuptials and, twenty years later, has the magnolia flowers clipped on the wedding day when they are the exact shade of the gowns. The explanation of the term "shotgun wedding" includes one tale that involves an actual shotgun.
Each chapter is followed by several pages of recipes, and they all sound scrumptious (And, as with all really good things, they'll likely turn your blood into syrup). Somebody is Going to Die is warm and welcome like a fresh pecan pie. There is nothing to offend. Remember it when you are shopping for a nice remembrance or birthday gift; it will be enjoyed and shared for years to come.
You can count the days until the thank-you note arrives.
If I were Southern, this would be my wedding planner! December 24, 2007
This book is hilarious, and yet, so true. Reading the tales of women who are truely southern, and will remind you of it every day of their lives, is hilarious. The wedding stories are great, and filled with practical advice to pull of the perfect southern wedding. I absolutely loved this book.
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